And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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