My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
