Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
