I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize