im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
