Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
