I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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