just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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