Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
