me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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