I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think i got beer on your cat.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize