I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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