I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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