My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
