I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
