he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
