i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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