I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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