I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
