My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize