You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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