He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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