If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
