I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
His nipple licking is glorious
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