Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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