girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well I just put wine in my tea
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My ass is underappreciated
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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