AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
