My hand turned me down
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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