Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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