he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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