You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
