just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
