Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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