nut hugger
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize