His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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