Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You can't motorboat a personality
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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