no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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