Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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