But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
