My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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