Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
