I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize