i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
thus making me awesome and them whores
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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