No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
