I must be too annoying 4 u.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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