so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
