Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
