So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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