Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
