He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize