Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
