oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
