You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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