Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you inspire me to be a worse person
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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