Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
