so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
