I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
