this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
