Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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