I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
