Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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