i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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