A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
