I forgot how hot balto sounded
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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