haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
