why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
