i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
babies were throwing up all over the place
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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