just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
