the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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